The Fanstastic Ms. Fox

The biggest barrier I face in doing anything significant is "being overwhelmed." It dogs me in business, art, sometimes in relationships, and it's also been the biggest outstanding obstacle to resolutions.

It's clear that I can do some pretty impressive shit (Satirical Politics, CFS referendum, Transition, Art, Writing, The Switch) and most this means engaging in giant complex tasks. So how do I beat the inertia and fear? Breaking things down into manageable steps, and pushing what can be done later completely off of my plate for today, and next week or next month, and as long as it takes to just concentrate on the stuff in front of me.

So the idea here is to keep it simple and high-priority.

I divide the year up into ten parts. It's a kind of astronomy meets traditional calendar religion meets film kind of thing (if you get the last reference, you're my kind of people!). And I use this to incrementally increase my targets.

1. Jan 1st thru Imbolc
2. Imbolc thru Equinox (Ostara)
3. Ostara thru Beltane
4. Beltane thru Solstice (Litha)
5. (break) Midsummer thru July 1st - time to reflect, alter and reconsider
6. July 1st thru Lammas
7. Lammas thru The Equinox (Mabon)
8. Mabon thru Samhaine
9. Samhaine thru Yule
10.  (break) Yule thru January 1st

I have four resolutions and three of them have incremental benchmarks. Each "tenth," I pick two targets to move their benchmark up a notch. This gives me a little wiggle room in case things prove challenging.


Tasks:

1. Pack a Lunch

I've done a pretty good job of becoming frugal over the last few years. I can live well for not a lot of money. But I spend money eating out when I don't need to - and when I don't want to. Now, when I'm eating at home, I can cook like a champ. But I don't take it with me. Time to do better.

Goal: Pack a lunch. As in a meal. Not just a granola bar.
Benchmarks: 1x/week, 2x/week, 3x/week

2. Get up and go Outside

My mental health, sleep and pretty much everything else improve when I get up and go outside within an hour of waking for at least thirty minutes. If you are not a home-based entrepreneur (or parent), you may not realize that you can get up at a reasonable hour and have what looks like a productive day on paper without leaving your house until after dark. This is not good for me. I get cranky and weird. So, I need to fix this.

Goal: Get up and go outside within one hour waking, staying outside for at least half an hour.
Benchmarks: 3x/week, 4x/week, 5x/week
 

3. Analog Hour
This one's about mindfulness, relaxation and all kinds of good stuff. I can pull this off in transit. I can do it socially. But I'm not good at being on my own. Instead, I have an ingrained habit of staring at a screen. It started in my youth as a way of disassociating. At the time, it might have been a good idea seeing as the combination of bullying and dysphoria drives other people trans to worse ends. Still, it needs to go.

Goal: Spend one hour on my own with the computer closed. Not screwing around on my phone. Not watching TV. No "screen time." Unless it's dialing a phone for a nice chat.

Benchmarks: 2x/week, 3x/week, 4x/week


4. Actor's Accountability
This is all the rage among actors, as self-directed professionals (that are known to be a little... flaky). You meet. You plan. You do better. And if you don't, you know it probably was outside of your reasonable locus of control.

Goal: Every month, I will meet with other actors to plan out career foundational. The first month will be setting up the meeting.
Benchmarks: There's only one.
 

New Rules

1. Posture
After recovering from neckstrain from hell, I have found that oneofhte muscles in my arm is partially paralyzed. It's weak and inhabiting my ability to do stuff. This probably comes from interactions with someone I used to date. It might from the time I got thrown at that play party in 2010 - the time I was saved from breaking my neck (or, indirectly, getting irradiated at Fukushima) because I turned my arm into an "S" shape? Well, I also hit my head, which snapped my neck back, but I didn't think about it at the time. Or it might have been more recent - from picking up my date and wanting to free up one hand if you get my drift, and just carrying too much load. The leading hypothesis is that my vertebrae are probably sandwiching a nerve - it's hard dot tell. On reflection, it's most likely a bit of both.

Also: my posture sucks. I don't want to wind up in a hunch when I'm eighty. And I look great when my posture is good.

The rule then: pick one: when on my cellphone / checking email / checking my reflection or seeing my shadow - I check my posture.

2. Don't lend money

In reserve:

These are important, but, in the interests of not feeling overwhelmed, didn't make the cut. I will revisit these later:

Fifteen hour days are not good for me. That is all the new information. An hour before bed to unwind is a sacred thing.

"Sacred" meaning "whole"

The Cat and I talk about *why* we stay up. It is chasing that productive peace after the busy day, that quiet garden where the mind sprouts.

*One of those new "smart bricks" that needs to sleep at night.His mother agrees. *Were* that the case, I would be in the rig

1. Improve my sleeping habits.

B. Each month, I will select and use a different technique from the below list and use it *4* nights per week. I may implement two during the same month, or abandon one after two weeks to try another. Once I have tried all of them, I will review their utility and implement two. After one month of that, I will implement a third. A fourth may then follow

- Put a SAD light on a timer (January 5-31, or February)
- Reschedule the activities that keep me up late
- Dark hour. No blue light.
- Sleep journal
- Pre-bed shower or bath or other evening ritual
- Electronic device to track nocturnal movements
- Keep a firm wakeup time
- If I wake up after "first sleep" I will stay up for about 90 minutes

2. Relaxation
Once a day, four days out of the week, I will do one or more of the following for a total of 30 minutes
- Meditate
- Pray
- Go to the pool or sauna and float or sit
- Cuddle
- Something sexual
- Make non-professional art
- Do something gender-confirming
- Journal
- Daydream
- Play boardgames
- Watch a TV show
- Cook

Once every month, plus twice in one season, I will do something relaxing and new over the span of at least 6 hours. It could include one of the following. 12-hour activities can count as two.
- Bake
- Cook something new
- Go on a pilgrimage
- Travel somewhere and sleep a lot
 

3. Adopt a skin regimen
- I will do three of (exfoliate clean, tone and moisturize) 3x per week until Imbolc
- Starting at Imbolc, I will do all four
- At equinox, I will do this four times a week
- At Beltane, five times per week
- At Solstice, I will review and use the practice as needed


4. Write for one solid hour, 3x per week


5. Do voice practice for ten minutes, 3x per week
 

6. Get a permanent body modification
Equinox: investigate options and pick a top two
Solstice: investigate methods and providers and pick a top two
Equinox: arrange it
Solstice: make it happen

I will revisit these resolutions at Equinox and solstice, making adjustments as needed. If I feel I've sufficiently integrated a practice, or that it's not useful to continue pursuing, I will swap it out for another.

This last year's resolutions were not very successful:

Sleep: F
Didn't even get started.

Winter: F
Spring: A
Summer: D
Autumn: A+ Went to Europe. Total success

Spend time in character as suave and Ms. Nerd
Fail

Bike Places: A+

Completely integrated into my lifestyle. I miss it when I can't do it.


Eat Green Things: A+

At times, I may have actually been eating too many greens: too much fiber to digest properly and short on carbs. 

That's quite a range between success and failure though. Why?
The successful projects had extrinsic motivators: health, cost, fun. Many were broken down into small chunks and were not socially awkward.
The unsuccessful projects were more inconvenient and ran against social endorsement.

I also may have had too many resolutions.
 

1. Three people, living or dead, I admire. And one quality each
- Robin Hood. Admittedly, he is (largely) fictional, but I admire him greatly. He was virtuously cunning.
- My uncle. He is wise. Like my grandfather was, and like how I hope to be.
- Hard to pin down the last one. Storytellers who spin something amazing out of resistance. Nalo Hobkinson. Tracy Chapman (often). John Varley (sometimes). Bruce Sterling (sometimes).

I really don't have many concrete role models. Robin Hood was the one who came to mind the strongest. This shows an odd disconnect from the real.

2. The virtue I strive to practice or emulate
- Resistance. The unwavering ability to stick to principles.

3. When do I feel the most confident; like the best person I could be
- When I just gave a speech to an audience.

4. What situations make me feel the greatest self-esteem or personal worth
- Applause. The admiration of the group.

5. What would a junxi version of me do differently from today 
- She would spend more time on concrete punditry.

6. What quality would I like to be known for, and how could I make this happen?
- Speaking truth to power. Delivering an honest, resonating and actionable critique of the status quo.

7. Where do I need to demonstrate more truthfulness and integrity?
- My own work habits.

Note: When three numbers are given, the first benchmark is April 10^th; second is September 10^th;; third (if listed) is Winter Solstice


1. Health:
Get 3 instances of 20-minute+ cardio exercise and 1 instance of 20-minute+ meditation or prayer per week (can overlap with other projects) for 48 weeks out of the year, less weeks where illness or injury makes this unwise

2. Leadership:
come the Winter Solstice, Lead 7 projects through to completion, 3 using project-management software, 1 must not be a film

3. Frugality:
Do not eat out at all (defined as “daily on-site-consumed-food-expenditure >$4.50”) 163 days in the year, also have a cost-based-plan for “what to do with the vehicle I inherited” by Imbolc, execute by Spring Equinox

4. Develop skills:
6/12/20 hours social assertiveness; Acting: 24/48 hours; Crossbow: 4/10 hours; 15/35 hours on top of that doing strength training ; Intensive physical skill (climbing, dance, acrobatics, martial arts and/or stage fighting 15/35 hours; 12/25 hours of any physical intensive exercise;

5. Transition:
24/48 hours of electrolysis or run out of beard; Dedicate and carry a “totem” to remind myself that I have darn well transitioned

6. Relax:
Take 4 weeks of actual vacation (defined as “primarily pursuing a project that is not work-related and not pursuing work for more than 2 hours per week.”), also, see point 1

7. Sexy
Do something sexual twice per moon