I deduced that my video card is acting up.

I notice that it cuts in and out when I bump the tower. So I assume it's a bad connection.

When I take it out of my motherboard, pieces come off in my hand.

Yup.
[This is not about current events in my life, but refers to a general trend that I have noticed over several years - one which I have sometimes exacerbated]

Online dating takes communication out of the nest of reciprocity that defines most of our social world.
Confer: Ursula Franklin's "Real World of Technology"

This specializes it for specific appliactions: blind dating; meeting someone who your friends don't know.; if you want a certain degree of anonimity (kinky, queer, cheating, high-proifle, and/or just shy).

It also makes it kinda crappy for fostering ongoing relationships. The vast bulk of my human relationships develop and are sustained via  a social backing: work; school; volunteering; religion; recreation; overlapping social circles; living nearby. These systems support our interactions. They give us something to talk about. They put us together week after week. They provide coworkers, fellow students, club members and so on to ask where the other person is.

Without these things, our normal relationship skills are often not sufficent. We do not notice that it's been awhile since we've seen so-and-so because we usually don't see so-and-so - their absence is normal, provoking no sense of loss. If we deprioritize communicating with them, it does not affect our interactions with them. We will not spontaneously encounter them. They can be in our lives... or not. Either or.

That I overlooked this set of problems stems from assuming that communication has an essential form; that it exists in an ideal state like Plato's chair; contextless, like Aphrodite coming to be by rising out of sea foam; that you can date however you like and it will be about the same. But communication is not a default thing that can be plugged into different media. A tongue or a keyboard, a long aquaintance or a blind-date are all different things, despite our wish to be free of context.
PUBLIC ENTRY

I didn't anticipate that this would ever be necessary.

A lot of the people from the CFS executive meeting should be getting home soon, and some will be turning on their computers. Given this, I feel the need to relay the following.

This journal is not written in my capacity as a member of any official outside body. It is thus, part of my personal life.

The bulk of my journal is available to people whether or not they have a password. Thus, although this journal is located in public internet-space, it has never been my intention that it is "public." This journal is being similar to a personal conversation or gathering held in a park, library, coffee-shop or other common space. The space is public, and so long as participants are willing to agree to certain tacit rules, they are welcome to enter.

I do this for several reasons:

o    I think that people should be able to express their personal, and often intimately emotional, opinions publicly with the understanding that they will not be punished or attacked for their honesty. The alternative is to fear genuine communication.

o    I think that relying on computers to screen people is a way of delegating the decision of whether or not to trust people away from humans and to machines. Since computers are devices designed to carry out our will, automated screening easily becomes a way of blaming an inert object (thus cultivating the myth of objectivity) while cultivating our own shortcomings.

o    I think that people are smart enough to know when a comment is directed to everyone, and when it is directed to friends, acquaintances and not to the whole world. And I think that, by and large, most people are honourable enough to respect that.

o    I don't think that people should have to subscribe to Livejournal to communicate with me.

o    I have in the past made it clear that this journal is personal and not professional. As a director of the SFSS, and as a worker in other non-profits, I do not relay co-workers to it unless it is through our role as friends. In the past when people have linked to it through a Student Society function, I have requested that they cease. When I write about my relationship with the CFS, I do it so that my friends can know what I'm going through. When seeking employment, I do not use this as a portfolio for creative work.

o     It was very difficult for me to decide to make the Queer-related information public. I did so because I went through the coming out process without access to writings by other people who have had to deal with similar intersections of identity and social forces. I don't want other people to have to go through the same thing without that. I want people to be able to access this without having to identify themselves, thus keeping the strongest sense of security possible that their identity will be protected until they want to disclose it. The response I have received to date indicates that this has made a difference in peoples' lives.

o   Our society tends to believe that people are liable for whatever harm befalls them should they not go out of their way to protect themselves. I want to show to at least myself that this is a bad way to live. Not locking up your bike does not make it public property or justify its theft. Dressing in a low-cut shirt does not make your body public-access or justify getting groped. Leaving your door unlocked does not make your house public space and justify another's intrusion. Leaving my journal open does not make it public information, nor does it justify exploiting it to publicly berate me.

In short, I think that society can function through trust, not rules and restricted information. I believe in hospitality, personal discretion and politeness. I enjoy showing faith in people. This is not going to change.


So.

This is my journal.

It is open to people only on an interpersonal non-professional level. That is to say, it is open only to friends and those willing to comport themselves in a friendly manner.

Unless noted otherwise, entries within it are not intended to be in any way "public."

These rules-of-trust are not up for debate.

If you wish to stay, I take it that you then shall abide by these principles and so will give me the space I need to feel safe.

If you can't stay, I thank you for being considerate, and would remind you that there's a whole Internet out there, and there should be something entertaining and/or useful on it. If you're curious about me, you can also ask me for information in person, and I will usually oblige. If it falls within my professional duty to tell you something, I will do so.

If, however, you want to read this as a means to breach this trust and hurt me, I can't stop you. I can only ask you not to do so, and hope that you will honour this (and the following agreement).

If you are here in your role as a member of an outside official body, I insist that, if you are to read any other entry, you begin with the next (regarding confidentiality).

- Amy
"Not only are you hard to get ahold of, your lack of a phone is making me question why I should have one: you get along without it and I can't use my phone to call you."
- Gavin

In the eighties, a few people bought video-phones, then learned that they were only really useful if other people had them too.

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August 2017

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