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"the way you function in this orientation exercise is the way you function in real-life teams."
- Sam Bradd
A loooong walk around South Van at night gave me space to peer inside my baggage.
In Europe in the Summer of 2004, I was angry at my companions: I returned to the hotel to learn that they had decided to dissolve our plans and travel separately or in small groups, leaving me going solo. This said, I did not object and I was in no way surprised or shocked.
My ability to, when faced with isolation due to the disintegration of a group and its plans, calmly change tack to spend the better part of a month navigating through obscure regions of Western Slavia while completing schoolwork and research speaks to a useful streak of self-reliance, but one with unhealthy roots.
Indeed, self-reliance is a real strength, but beliefs like the following are not, and they mar the character of one's independence. leading to the habits of living half a life
1. Other people will occasionally try to help you because they think they should. They will at best give you an ear, leaving you back solving the problem on your own. At worst they will direct you towards bad decisions while making you feel inadequate.
2. Other people will drop you and the things you care about for weird/bad/no reasons. You cannot change this.
3. Other people are immature emotional firecrackers: handle them with kid gloves. When they hurt you, calmly note your disagreement and try to shed the conflict quietly.
4. You cannot connect with other people. They will always remain a mystery.
Conclusion: handle everything yourself.
Extricating myself from this has involved and is involving learning how to richly/effectively communicate with others, when I've rarely scratched the surface before. This time in my life is seeing the first deep friendships, and maybe a more complete romantic relationships or ties with family - as well as me asking probing questions, such as the ones that I may toss your way regarding the above topics. Heads up.
- Sam Bradd
A loooong walk around South Van at night gave me space to peer inside my baggage.
In Europe in the Summer of 2004, I was angry at my companions: I returned to the hotel to learn that they had decided to dissolve our plans and travel separately or in small groups, leaving me going solo. This said, I did not object and I was in no way surprised or shocked.
My ability to, when faced with isolation due to the disintegration of a group and its plans, calmly change tack to spend the better part of a month navigating through obscure regions of Western Slavia while completing schoolwork and research speaks to a useful streak of self-reliance, but one with unhealthy roots.
Indeed, self-reliance is a real strength, but beliefs like the following are not, and they mar the character of one's independence. leading to the habits of living half a life
1. Other people will occasionally try to help you because they think they should. They will at best give you an ear, leaving you back solving the problem on your own. At worst they will direct you towards bad decisions while making you feel inadequate.
2. Other people will drop you and the things you care about for weird/bad/no reasons. You cannot change this.
3. Other people are immature emotional firecrackers: handle them with kid gloves. When they hurt you, calmly note your disagreement and try to shed the conflict quietly.
4. You cannot connect with other people. They will always remain a mystery.
Conclusion: handle everything yourself.
Extricating myself from this has involved and is involving learning how to richly/effectively communicate with others, when I've rarely scratched the surface before. This time in my life is seeing the first deep friendships, and maybe a more complete romantic relationships or ties with family - as well as me asking probing questions, such as the ones that I may toss your way regarding the above topics. Heads up.
