Toenails.
Ever had a day when you lean down with a pair of nail clippers and realize that your toenails don't need clipping, even though you swore they were getting too long last night, and that the only logical conclusion is that someone must have cut them while you slept?
I am having such a day.

I sound like... Rosencratz. That's odd, usually I sound like Guildenstern.


It occurs to me that I live among the strange and the mad.

But beyond that, what do I have to say? And where am I?

My life is well, but deficient in The Most Serious and Supreme Project whose presence I have come to expect: a degree, an election, a job. Something to keep me fixated on the future and not on the present.

This year, and it has been a year now, has been aimless. I went back to school not to solve, but escape it. I don't know what I'm doing still, but this is a second chance for me: to be just out of school and to get it right this time. So I've applied for the Census, and for a job focus group thingy, but it's still a matter of waiting around.

My relationship with Erin has been good, but is not exactly 'good' right now. There are reasons to belive that this will clear up in a month and a half, but it's again, a matter of waiting.

Waiting scares me. I hear so many people and then myself say "I'll do X as soon as Y happens." But yYis a long time coming, and sometimes it never shows, and when it does, it doesn't bring what you told  yourself it would. Life shouldn't be founded on contigent procrastination.

Maybe this comes from living in a society founded on waiting in lines and for dates.

I can infer that stories are important to you people.

So I've heard about this. A dozen (not the actual number, the idea) people gather in a theatre to pal around, and maybe, if time permits, do something constructive. They fiddle with instruments, lie around on the stage and enjoy themselves. They are friends, together, waiting, hanging around and fooling around until Godot shows up.

I have heard about this. This calls for an unusually large apartment in a prominent American city, and zany hijinks.


A political convention. Triple-length room. Schmoozing. HUGE (in retrospect) projector screens with poll counts. Hand-shaking. Waiters. Cheese platters. A large number of people who are as hopeful as they are tired.

According to your Earth media, this calls for pork-pie hats, little American flags and a fatherly white guy in a suit. This man will give a stirring victory speech. I hope he shows up before the balloons go completely flat.


Extraordinary coziness. Murmured conversation let off the leash for the first time in a while. Safety here. A joy.

Something is supposed to go wrong. I think one of of us is tied to the mob or gets hit by a car or something. There will be tearjerking or vengeance or some combination thereof.


Fog coats the world. Cones of photons become visible in a new way. Atmospheric perspective becomes viable. Silhouettes of trees stand ethericly. Docks trail off into dim blurs.

I am surprised and a little disappointed by the lack of distant laughing or singing leading to a faerie-land, a howl and a werewolf attack or mobsters/government agents standing in the blare of a foghorn. This may be partially my fault, as I am not depressed, lost, or wearing a trenchcoat. I may still write a letter to my MP: "Dear sir..."


This is life. This is alright. Not that I could find the receipt anyway.

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the_fantastic_ms_fox

August 2017

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