The Fanstastic Ms. Fox

Quite the party last night!

I'm still posting transgender stuff on my journal, but there'll be another shift in character.


1 - I began in August and September with "holy shit, I think I'm trans - is this right?"


2 - This segued into "Okay.... What does this feel like? How do I deal with it?"


3 - Then came navigating the medical system and starting to fiddle with my appearance.

At present, this involves looking at long-term health issues, nutrition, and surgical options. I'm also getting carry papers (documents stating "yes this person is female") and doing a legal name change.


4 - Following this came the hormones and their effect on me. I'm a little disappointed to know that I'm on or very near to a full dose, and there won't be any other sudden changes in my biochemical-cognitive interaction.

My dreams continue to be shockingly vivid (progesterone). Even when waking, I can no longer ignore my subconscious, and even overlooking it is a feat. I have more energy and am happier - I think this is what it feels like when you're starting to be not depressed instead of fighting depression. It's been more than half my life since I could say that. Trans ain't the only reason for this, but it goes a long way.


5 - Now I'm into a stage of presenting, with or without effort, as decidedly female and noting how this feels - what the reactions are, how I feel about those, and how feeling and perception interect. This is where the sociologist is happy and the shy girl is intimidated.

More to come, of course.



On a side not, I'm thinking of a remaning party in late August that could also serve as a community right-of-passage party.

Done something notable in the last year? Graduated? Changed something important? Want to announce something? Have a request for the community? Comment and we can maybe it can be worked in.

1. That was my third, and most likely final, appointment for sperm storage - this means that I started Spiroactalone late this morning.
It feels as if there was a period wherein a tide of unwanted T had the run of my body, and that this period is now over. A strong relief comes of this.

2. In other news, I dyked it up this week - girl's pants, shirt, vest, my cap, trimmed eyebrows and so on. And today, a fellow I'd not met came into the office, skirted the directors who were chatting with each other and shouted to reach me to ask for directions. I'm pretty sure what he said was.
"Excuse me sir."
(I turn from leaning over my computer)
"Oh, I'm sorry - miss."
Now, he was seeing me at a distance, and I'm pretty sure that my attempt at a female voice didn't work out as well as I'd hoped, but I'm pleased nonetheless.
I really do think that was what he said.
Fucking A.

3. Could it be that the demand for medical intervention in body-gender is driven in part by living in a large, anonymous society? If I lived in a small village or tribe where everyone knew that Sasha prefers to be acknowledged as female and had personal relationships that would encourage them to honour this, then I, or any other trans (or intersex, or, in some cases, cis) person in a similar situation, could live day in and out without having to worry about being read because everyone would be familiar with both my history and what I want in social interactions. This isn't to say that there wouldn't be other problems (like not being able to leave in the face of hostility).

But I don't live in a small village or tribe - not yet anyway: we'll see what the next thirty years of world history hold. This, if I want to be read as female, I have to give off a strong and immediate visual signal to all the people who I meet for all of ten minutes before I never see them again.

Peak oil: solving both global warming and transphobia since 2005.