(no subject)
Oct. 5th, 2008 04:44 pmOur society often tells us: if you do this, the system of things will work it to make you happy
We hear this often.
If you buy lots of things, you will have everything you could want...
If you are a pretty woman, someone will take care of you...
If you are self-sacrificing, people will notice and reward you with thanks and praise - and if they don't, God will...
If you have a lot of responsibility in work, which means power in life, people will respect you...
If you obey your parent(s), or parent(s)-in-law, one day you will be able to assume their position...
With rare exception, the object that we are supposed to pursue - money, beauty, power, responisiblity, obediance - is something that you can chase, but never be secure in having. Your toys need to be constantly updated so as not to become passe, and there are always better ones that you don't have. You can spend as much time at the mirror as you like, but you're always going to hate your body, and eventually, your beauty will fade. As long as there is someone worse off than you, you can find ways to be more self-sacrificing. You can always have more power, and other people can take it from you. You can always be a more obediant daughter or son, even after your parents are dead.
Like hanging a carrot in front of the donkey you're riding. If you behave, follow orders, conform, you'll get it - just a little farther. Okay, a little farther still. Keep going. Still don't have it? Must not be trying hard enough. Try harder.
Artefacts of happyness are more like a hamster wheel: what makes you happy may look kind of stupid to others, but you enjoy it for its own sake.
We hear this often.
If you buy lots of things, you will have everything you could want...
If you are a pretty woman, someone will take care of you...
If you are self-sacrificing, people will notice and reward you with thanks and praise - and if they don't, God will...
If you have a lot of responsibility in work, which means power in life, people will respect you...
If you obey your parent(s), or parent(s)-in-law, one day you will be able to assume their position...
With rare exception, the object that we are supposed to pursue - money, beauty, power, responisiblity, obediance - is something that you can chase, but never be secure in having. Your toys need to be constantly updated so as not to become passe, and there are always better ones that you don't have. You can spend as much time at the mirror as you like, but you're always going to hate your body, and eventually, your beauty will fade. As long as there is someone worse off than you, you can find ways to be more self-sacrificing. You can always have more power, and other people can take it from you. You can always be a more obediant daughter or son, even after your parents are dead.
Like hanging a carrot in front of the donkey you're riding. If you behave, follow orders, conform, you'll get it - just a little farther. Okay, a little farther still. Keep going. Still don't have it? Must not be trying hard enough. Try harder.
Artefacts of happyness are more like a hamster wheel: what makes you happy may look kind of stupid to others, but you enjoy it for its own sake.