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Tonight I realized that since I spent so many months with a mind on my gender presentation, it became indistinguishable from my general social anxiety. Gender was so on my mind, so foremost among all other social worries, that I forgot the others were there.
Tonight, I could find no reason why others' perception of my (trans)gender(yness) was an obstacle, and yet the anxiety remained. This is fortunate because there's not a lot that I can do about the passing thing that I also want to do.
The problem was that I was awkward. No trans issues, just plain awkward. I forgot what that felt like. I'm surprised to find "garden variety social anxiety" a welcome relief, but it is.
Tonight, I could find no reason why others' perception of my (trans)gender(yness) was an obstacle, and yet the anxiety remained. This is fortunate because there's not a lot that I can do about the passing thing that I also want to do.
The problem was that I was awkward. No trans issues, just plain awkward. I forgot what that felt like. I'm surprised to find "garden variety social anxiety" a welcome relief, but it is.
