Before all this, imagine me in a coffee shop. The morning light streaming in. I overhear a realtor talking to a colleague about her 'other' maternal grandma, the one she didn't know about; the one who died in the 1960s.

I am off to work. Research.


Waking factors in the following dream:
- Introducing someone to If These Walls Could Talk 2
- Dropping by my old (pre-transitional) landlady to find out she'd recently moved.
- See prior entries regarding extents of control



 In Southern Europe, in a medical camp, among the nurses.

It's not clear what we're doing here but maybe the politicians are getting ready for a war. How do they know?

In retrospect, this may not be history as you know it. World War 2 hasn't broken out yet. It's safer to insert cross-temporal operatives now. Mymission is to gather data and not interfere. To watch, not act. It's making me twitchy.
Read more... )
I understand it's a generalization. That's not my point. I want to know *why* one group of lesbians is stereotypical and another isn't. What causes it?

Read more... )

To change these cultures then, one needs to pick the place for people to socialize, one with a carefully constructed social-geographic culture. Then put the word out to queers of all stripes, let them self-select, then let it snowball.


The dykes you're describing: justice oriented, countercultural, dogmatic, white/cis/middle-class guilt. Did they meet their fellow queers in college, then hang out at nonprofit events run by people with degrees? Are they union/NDP-affiliated?

The lads: did they find themselves as gay men in a sweaty disco room?

Can you think of queers who didn't come out this way? Did they break the stereotype?

Having had FFS about three weeks ago, she's healing up well, and when we talked on Skype last night, I saw that the swelling had mostly gone away.

"Do I Look that different" she asked.

Trying not to laugh, I said, "You're going to have a lot of trouble with men."

"It's already started." she said. "Today, I was at a coffee shop, and this guy sat down beside me and asked me what I was reading. The Persistant Desire, a butch/femme LESBIAN reader, I said - And then the light went out of his eyes."
See link


(What I didn't write was - Xtra West - perhaps you could hire some more people who do not identify as cisgendered homosexuals?)


A lot of homosexuals forget that the word "Queer" was coined in part to unite the wide range of ways of living outside the norm - undoing some of the damage wrought by psychiatry, which defined homosexuality as an illness, distinct from breaking other gender norms. And I know many one-woman/one-man couples who are definitely Queer.

Some are gender-variant, and when not holding hands (and sometimes even when they are), get read as gay or lesbian. If one of them acts gender-normative, and the other does not, the "normal" one may still be ejected from the hetero club on account of hooking up with a swishy dude who might be mistaken for a woman, or a woman who's too butch, and who may be mistaken for a man.

Sometimes one or both are bisexual. If they're both bisexual, one of the things they have in common is constantly taking flack from hets for being too homo, and flack from homosexuals from being too het - homosexuals who refuse to date them, and then who condemn them for sleeping with the other sex rather than choosing a life of bisexual celibacy.

Sometimes, one or both people are transsexual. Your relationship might be hetero, but bigots won't see it that way. Remember Pvt. Barry Winchell, murdered by his coworkers for going out with a transsexual woman?

Or they could be poly - many forms of which are still illegal in Canada.

Or they could be more than one of the above.

All of the people in these couples can be targeted by anti-queer laws, slurs or fists, just as much as anyone in a same-gender relationship.

Think also of norms of dating based on race, religion, ability, class and age.

What unites us as Queers is breaking with the assumption that everyone should be heterosexual, cisgendered, and live in a suburban bungalow with 2.5 children.


The Cass identity model of coming out.

It's somewhat outdated, culture-specific, and doesn't apply as much to transgendered people (i.e. both transsexual and gender-variant), but it's good.

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August 2017

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