Eat, clothes, eat!
Nov. 24th, 2006 01:20 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
the_fantastic_ms_foxSelections from my more verbose responses to the Centre's Questionnaire
Where should we turn to build this?
Make as many allies as possible - anyone who is interested in building a society where norms of gender and sex aren't straightjackets is a part of our community. Think: every colour, every ability, every class, every language, every age, every ability, out, in, stealth, weekend. Think intersex, genderfuck, third-gender, asexual, kinky, poly, lovers of trans people, questioning, curious, parents and friends, straight acitivists, cross-dressers, neutrois, furries, street mimes, whomever! There's a thousand traditions from every corner of the world and new ones too - too many to mention!
Any other comments
Any time we have a group that says "only certain people can come," we better make sure they've got a damn good reason for it. "Discussing personal details in a safe space" is a good justification. "Because they have the wrong kind of energy" is a saccharine form of bigotry. This is the key issue that I have with a lot of progressive politics.
My previous answer sounds very optimistic. I was a straight ally, and felt welcomed in some gender/Queer activist groups. Others excluded me except for a few occasions when when they'd accept outsiders as a form of unpaid work. I have since realized that I am Queer. Now, I am an even stronger volunteer for the groups that welcomed me, whereas the ones that welcome me only now, I still feel can go to hell. I don't hate them - I just don't care about them. I can't say whether this is their foolishness or my immaturity, but either way, until one of us changes, the latter groups have lost me.
There's an Iranian folk-tale that relates to this.
One day a rich man was invited to dinner. He spent the day working in his garden.
At sunset he didn't have time to dress for the dinner.He went in his work clothes.
When he arrived, all the other guests were there. But nobody spoke to him.
At dinner he was seated far from the host. No-one spoke to him.
He got up and went home. He washed.He dressed in fine clothes. Then he came back.
Now the host said,"Come,sit beside me." The host passed the food to him.
The man took the food and began putting it in his pockets. "Eat,clothes,eat."he said.
The host was surprised at this."What are you doing?"he asked.
The man replied,"I'm feeding your guest. When I first came,no one would speak to me. After I changed my clothes,you treated me as a special guest. I'm still the same man. So my clothes must be important to you.I'm just giving them their share of the food."
Make as many allies as possible - anyone who is interested in building a society where norms of gender and sex aren't straightjackets is a part of our community. Think: every colour, every ability, every class, every language, every age, every ability, out, in, stealth, weekend. Think intersex, genderfuck, third-gender, asexual, kinky, poly, lovers of trans people, questioning, curious, parents and friends, straight acitivists, cross-dressers, neutrois, furries, street mimes, whomever! There's a thousand traditions from every corner of the world and new ones too - too many to mention!
Any other comments
Any time we have a group that says "only certain people can come," we better make sure they've got a damn good reason for it. "Discussing personal details in a safe space" is a good justification. "Because they have the wrong kind of energy" is a saccharine form of bigotry. This is the key issue that I have with a lot of progressive politics.
My previous answer sounds very optimistic. I was a straight ally, and felt welcomed in some gender/Queer activist groups. Others excluded me except for a few occasions when when they'd accept outsiders as a form of unpaid work. I have since realized that I am Queer. Now, I am an even stronger volunteer for the groups that welcomed me, whereas the ones that welcome me only now, I still feel can go to hell. I don't hate them - I just don't care about them. I can't say whether this is their foolishness or my immaturity, but either way, until one of us changes, the latter groups have lost me.
There's an Iranian folk-tale that relates to this.
One day a rich man was invited to dinner. He spent the day working in his garden.
At sunset he didn't have time to dress for the dinner.He went in his work clothes.
When he arrived, all the other guests were there. But nobody spoke to him.
At dinner he was seated far from the host. No-one spoke to him.
He got up and went home. He washed.He dressed in fine clothes. Then he came back.
Now the host said,"Come,sit beside me." The host passed the food to him.
The man took the food and began putting it in his pockets. "Eat,clothes,eat."he said.
The host was surprised at this."What are you doing?"he asked.
The man replied,"I'm feeding your guest. When I first came,no one would speak to me. After I changed my clothes,you treated me as a special guest. I'm still the same man. So my clothes must be important to you.I'm just giving them their share of the food."
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no subject
Date: 2006-11-24 03:41 pm (UTC)About 5 years ago, I felt that the Vancouver Rape Relief Society behaved in the same manner towards men: okay as unpaid labour, but not for any other tasks. So i decided not to volunteer with them after all. Endorsing anyone, let alone a gender (and I think of gender as a social construct too, but it does make me uneasy at times) as secondclass citizens was not a goal I have ever been able to endorse.