(no subject)

[the_fantastic_ms_fox]

I find that I can't open a map on a streetcorner without someone stopping to give me directions. I credit thi this to Boston's friendly attitude.

But vuge  tells me that I need to get a bra.

Background:

I've been tweaking my estradiol and progesterone levels for a few months now. Normally, you take a given dose of E and P and test your blood for their levels. But instead, the doctor I'm seeing recommends adjusting them until your pituitary emits levels of follicular stimulating hormone and lutenizing hormone in line with cissexed women. The idea is that your pituitary is lying back in a warm endocrinal bath and sighing ahhh... just right. Now let's ovulate.

There's no ovulation, but there is better mood and sleep. The clinic I was going to in Vancouver modeled their trans care after their previous specality: harm reduction for injection drug-users. While tehy're nice folks all-around, they prescribed as little as possible (post-op 50ug patch or 2mg pill of E; no P).

I think I'm sleeping better on the new dose. But my body seems to be completing the puberty that it stalled out on. So I go to goodwill to donate the pants that are too small on my hips and bum, and I buy new ones that fit.

And a bra may be in order. At least if I'm going to go running (ouch!) or to a job interview.

Behind me, vuge says, "no, you should wear a bra all the time."

I'm not sure about this.

"You see those striations on your shirt? That washboard effect running from nipple to nipple?" Vuge asks. "I last saw that in anime."

I don't know how I feel about this. I don't like the idea that I have to cover myself with an extra layer of fabric. An extra layer to wash by hand. An extra layer to shop and spend for, difficult normally, but even moreso due to my insistance on ethical sourcing.

I could cut down my dosage and see if they shrink back, but I'm not sure that's best for my body, my mood.

I like the fact that my body is finishing puberty; that it hasn't stalled out halfway; that it's doing what it should. I'm alarmed and annoyed at how my prior doctor thought this was the end of the line; that no more was to occur; that I should slow down and stop. And since I have trouble remembering that I've changed sex, accidentally knocking one breast with my upper arm now and then serves as a good reminder.

I don't particularly like the extra attention from men. Or rather, I don't like that this sexual expectation, or that it's contingent on the shape of my chest.

I wore a button down shirt to visit vuge in the hospital. When I left, she overheard the nurses respectfully discussing whether I was a boy or a girl. Given this, given how people associate "btuch " with "dyke," the men who cross the street to give me directions that I don't need, then strike up a conversation that ends with "I wish we could spend more time together." would figure I'm gay.

"Yeah." says vuge. "But they're probably thinking, hitting on her is probably not going to work. But if it did? .... Yeah. It's worth a shot."

I'm thinking: sports bra.

Comments

[undeconstructed.livejournal.com]

oh god bras are annoying. In general, they create a situation where you no longer use the muscles that would keep them cool, they atrophy, and you get addicted to an expensive habit for fear of getting called out for having saggy ones. i used to have great big tits, now have significantly smaller ones, and a bra never did squat but make me feel worse about them. i think im still bitter. either way, dudes who think a particular way will variously hit on you, watch you studiously, and/or comment in other ways. YMMV obviously lol.

[donnaidh-sidhe.livejournal.com]

Welcome to boobs :/.

Once I broke all the underwires in my non-nice ones (long story) I stopped wearing bras except when out and about. It's kind of nice...but I suspect it's been helped by the fact that I've lost a grand total of 50 pounds since first acquiring excessive mammary tissue...

bras!

[rye-bunny.livejournal.com]

yes, sports bra. I wear mine all the time; I originally bought it for travel (try sleeping in a regular bra sometime), but it's so great it's what I wear every day. With no lace or underwire, I can put it in the wash no problem.

This is the one I love:
here

Also, the straps don't look like typical bra straps, so they're great for wearing under tank tops in the summer (visible bra straps are tacky).

Of course, I still have a "nice" one *coughpushupcough* for when I'm going out.

Re: bras!

[hundun.livejournal.com]

Washable eh? Interesting.

Re: bras!

[plaidalicious.livejournal.com]

A lot of bras are washable, provided there's no under-wire.

I cold-wash hang-dry all my bras.

Sports bras are sooo much more comfy than underwires.

A professional bra-fitter will save you time money and comfort. Go to someone a friend recommends, a lot of people claim to have bra-fitters but don't really.

Re: bras!

[maellenkleth]

Sure, the underwire will cause wear problems in the washing machine, but on the other hand, anything without an underwire will do just fine in cold-water wash (toss 'em into an onion sack if you want to keep their hooks from ripping up everything else) and hang to dry.

Have had somewhat over 30 years in which to figure this out, so I can vouch for it working okay.

As to long-term hormonal regimes, I finally went back to talk to someone at VGH, lo these many years later (having been one of Jerrilyn Prior's original cohort of guinea-pigs) and was quite surprised to see high-dose micronised progesterone (Prometrium) being the flavour of the month. 2x200/day every day if I recall correctly; not sure how at all that compares with the ancient old regimen of small doses of Provera 10 days/month. Fashions change, even in endocrinology, apparently.

Apologies for coming in out of the blue like this, but I do observe that we appear to know some people in common. Good old Internet, it's like that.

[neomeruru.livejournal.com]

I hear you. I don't like to wear a bra for the same reason I don't shave my legs -- it's extra work and irritation for me based solely on bogus gender expectations. Instead of wearing a bra, I just changed my wardrobe habits to minimize the times when I "need" to wear a bra.

Times I "need" to wear a bra, as a 36A:
- sheer materials
- thin-fabric'd, slim-fitting tees
- gathered-neck blouses (as leaning over pulls them away from the body)
- when a friend's hungry baby will threaten to pull down my shirt
- when 'normative femininity' is a benefit, like a job interview
- when I plain feel like 'having boobs'

This cuts the times I wear a bra down to less than once a week. On the plus side, no one important really cares if your nipples are showing. My partner loves that I don't, my coworkers don't care, strangers don't say anything. Additionally, I find that women are the worst enemies when it comes to going bra-less... I think we police each other more than is really necessary.

[emilydm.livejournal.com]

Can I please get an appointment with your doctor? (It'd be a heck of a commute.) Or maybe some better DNA? I really really hate my body, I've got nothing at all unless I wear padded bras, and I don't know whether it's my meds or my genes or both. (The irony that on my dad's side of the family the men have larger breasts than the women is not lost on me at all.)

[jessie-c.livejournal.com]

You got visited by the Boobie Fairy!
I also find myself intrigued by your Doctor's HRT strategy.

[maellenkleth]

:waves.

fancy meeting you here. ^_^

[jessie-c.livejournal.com]

This being such a good place to meet, with such excellent company I am unsurprised though delighted to encounter you here : )

[maellenkleth]

Heh, indeed! I wrote your number on a card and stuck in my carry-bag and may be able to give you a call from Coal Harbour if the float-plane makes it back to Vancouver side in tomorrow's forecast winds. Can certainly try taking the train out your way from downtown.

Apologies to OP for threadjacking. ^_^

[maellenkleth]

Oh, on track of boobage, micronised human progesterone really is good stuff, so evidently the science really is improving, ever so glacially slowly.

[bloodykitty.livejournal.com]

I don't find sports bras particularly comfortable. Unless the bra separates them, I find my boobs get smushed together and it's sweaty and unpleasant. Some sports bras come with separate cups, but I've never found one in my size.

I'd recommend getting fitted somewhere nice because bras that don't fit can be really uncomfortable.

Personally, I never wear them at home. Of course, I don't wear panties at home either. Or clothes that aren't made of cotton jersey.

[my-love-assasin.livejournal.com]

i wish men would cross the street to give me directions and then ask me to spend more time with them.

[katkent.livejournal.com]

I never wore a bra in highschool unless I had to. I had hairy pits, hairy legs, and everything was cool until i started looking for work. I like sports bras. I heard that those new ones actually have a medium binding effect.

[hundun.livejournal.com]

Binding eh?