(no subject)

[the_fantastic_ms_fox]

"I heard that bit of a rasp in your voice, and thought I bet he's either shot T a few times or is thinking of it, and is now sweaty-handed, wringing over whether to take it all the way. That's why I asked you what name you preferred."

- My professor, referring to September 2007.


I'm glad that the "transsexuals exist" meme has gotten around to the point where even random staff at stores, restaurants, raidio stations, medical (walk-in or surgical) clinics, and university classrooms try to support your gender identity.  I can almost hear the wheels spinning in their heads:

Oh, I bet that person is one of those people who change their sex. I'd bet they'd like it if I could confirm it in some way.

And so they suddenly soften, decrease the distance between us, smile genuinely, and call me "sir." Or tell me where the men's washroom is, even though I hadn't asked. They do not do this for the "other men" present.

I know they mean it out of respect, and so it warms me.

Today, the tie I bought from the charity shop (right before the above reaction), I picked out because I figured I could paint a fuschia "♀" sign on it. Not exactly subtle, but mabye I can point to it or something.



It still seems strange that I've transitioned to a woman who is comfortable getting regularly mistaken for an early female-to-male transsexual. Stranger is that with all the feedback that comes in that says "You're FtM" and much less that says "you're a masculine woman," at least not directly, sometimes I even forget which way I'm going.



I know that some masculine women are infuriated by this, and some even see it as a transsexual invasion of their space. I find being overlooked frustrating at times, but I know that cissexed-passing privelege makes it dead fucking easy to change someone's mind about your gender, as long as you're going towards the conventional biological model; that all I have to do is introduce myself, or say "Uh... thanks. But where's the women's?" mention my gender, and they'll probably be not only okay with it, but embarassed that they'd call you trans (based on the assumption that "trans" is a rude thing to assume about someone, but not a terrible thing to be. Much like "Gay.").

More importantly, being smiled at and warmly called "sir" is better than the more traditional reaction against masculine women - You're a freak. Get away from me.




I see a place for a gender hanky code. Some way for people to telegraph their identity.

Comments

[jessie-c.livejournal.com]

There's this, but it's slightly less than subtle.

[hundun.livejournal.com]

Oh I like those.

The problem is that when I want to identify myself as feamel, I don't want to do it through my body. In this case I wouldn't want to drive home the idea that breasts = female; no breasts = male. That's not even true with cissexed people.

[jessie-c.livejournal.com]

Hmmmmm. The traditional way is through colour and cut of clothing, makeup jewellery, shoes and you know, superficial things like that. It's inconvenient to have to sing I am Woman, Hear Me Roar all the time.

An additional problem for you is your stature. You fall in the typical female height range and therefore many people will gender you female based on that alone. If you're looking a bit androgynous on any particular day then it's natural for someone to reach the wrong conclusion and think that you're FTM. If you were my height and build you wouldn't have this problem (they'd think you're just a cisguy instead).

If you're acting contrary to Societal expectations as far as dress goes, then getting the wrong reaction can be expected. Dress butch, be treated butch. People are creatures of stereotype because that way they don't have to think : (

[hundun.livejournal.com]

I woldn't really call my stature "a problem;" more of "a privilege." I've had e-words with some taller butchy MtFs, and what you've said pretty much sums up some of their experiences of living as inadvertant "passing women."

One woman in particular: cissexed male to the world; butch cissexed female to her casual aquaintances; MTF to the people she is close to.

There is one advantage to being regularly read as someone who's trying very very hard to come across as a guy: it makes it easier to get into dyke events. (::twitch... twitch::)

[jessie-c.livejournal.com]

You could go to Michfest and really screw with Lisa Vogel's head[1]. Bwahahahahaha!


[1] I mean more than it already is. That woman needs therapy.