I will now complain.
Mar. 4th, 2008 11:01 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
the_fantastic_ms_foxBeing sick is irritating me. I want to be at work, kicking CFS ass. It's the big push now. We're expecting their cross-Canada "volunteer" swarm starting today.
Unfortunately, whatever the hell followed up on whatever made me sick a fortnight back, has knocked me on my ass. I am defying the workplace culture of self-ablation, by staying home, not infecting my co-workers, getting better and returning towork able to actually do my job.
It bothers me how vulnerable I am to be to lung congestion. I've had bronchitis three to five times, and pneumonia once. Yesterday the doctor gave me a scrip for antibiotics: my lower right lung is ripe for a bacterial infection. I am still having trouble talking without hacking though - it's a lot worse when I try to talk either above a whisper or in a female-ish voice (it's something about larynx position, air volume and airway obstruction).
While yesterday, I woke up "a bit sweaty," this morning will necessitate washing all of my bed linens. It's like someone poured a bucket of water over me while I slept. This is an improvment, as I am able to wake up and get up, rather than lie in bed in a feverish fugue, practicing my high-as-a-kite Delphic oracle skills. I'm no longer stopping to lean on things when I go for a stroll, and I don't get nausuous and faint when I stand up for long periods of time.
Still, this bothers me. I guess it's in part because I missed so much time at school as an adolscent. I did get sick surprisingly frequently. I got sick frequently. I didn't stay sick that long, but I tried to miss as much school as possible whenever I did. I still feel guilty about this. I hated school. It felt like a waste of my time. Plus there was the social aspect, which ranged from awkward to bullying. It was no coincidence that I stopped getting constantly ill as soon as I went to college.
I want to feel better and get back to work, but I know that I should be at home. Dammit. Stupid self-care and responsibility.
It bothers me how vulnerable I am to be to lung congestion. I've had bronchitis three to five times, and pneumonia once. Yesterday the doctor gave me a scrip for antibiotics: my lower right lung is ripe for a bacterial infection. I am still having trouble talking without hacking though - it's a lot worse when I try to talk either above a whisper or in a female-ish voice (it's something about larynx position, air volume and airway obstruction).
While yesterday, I woke up "a bit sweaty," this morning will necessitate washing all of my bed linens. It's like someone poured a bucket of water over me while I slept. This is an improvment, as I am able to wake up and get up, rather than lie in bed in a feverish fugue, practicing my high-as-a-kite Delphic oracle skills. I'm no longer stopping to lean on things when I go for a stroll, and I don't get nausuous and faint when I stand up for long periods of time.
Still, this bothers me. I guess it's in part because I missed so much time at school as an adolscent. I did get sick surprisingly frequently. I got sick frequently. I didn't stay sick that long, but I tried to miss as much school as possible whenever I did. I still feel guilty about this. I hated school. It felt like a waste of my time. Plus there was the social aspect, which ranged from awkward to bullying. It was no coincidence that I stopped getting constantly ill as soon as I went to college.
I want to feel better and get back to work, but I know that I should be at home. Dammit. Stupid self-care and responsibility.
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no subject
Date: 2008-03-04 07:47 pm (UTC)