(no subject)

Still having dreams about my junk, like some part of my brain doesn't quite get that it's changed, and is trying to feel it out remotely, like using cooking chopsticks to find a spoon that you dropped in a cauldron of soup.

I've dreamed of having combined genitals, mutilated flesh where genitals would normally be, having a cissexed penis, which may or may not work, and having a stump where my penis "broke off," which then changes to a clit (which, in the waking world, is buried behind the stretched wall of a partially sealed vulva). I've come in my dreams several times - always in a dream with genitals, but it could be any set of genitals .

it still doesn't exactly feel like I have a vulva. I'm still reluctant to touch it. This is in part because it's still partially sealed shut. Looks like it'll get fixed in December. And it's in part because I don't want to break it.

In my dreams, I more frequently present as female. Maybe it's 50/50 now.

I'm surprised at how deeply I internalized the idea You can't change your sex. I frequently forget that I have done just that.