(no subject)

People keep telling me that I'm good at things, especially writing, politics. A variety of people, but especially those who make a living in these fields. And it's intimidating. Now I understand that I appreciate the compliment, and the advice. But the suggestion bothers me, because it tires me. Not so much the writing, but the politics. All the suggestions that I seriosly run for office, and their disappointment or irritation that I really really don't want to - not right now, please.

Or, as I did not say, but hinted at last week: I could run with you, but I would crumble in the campaign and were I by some miracle elected, would die in office

Politics is a lot of work, and all I feel right now is tired.

It's been a long haul. Gender and school and work and volunteering - the latter three a means to cope with the first. Like pumping a bike until your legs are tired, and only then just cresting the hill and resting in the slight decline, I have burnt out and am now coasting. The next few months should be a lot lighter.

The last ecstatic experience I had said to go be a normal person for a bit. "A bit" being perhaps two years. I guess a normal person is someone who tries to live their life first, then do other things. Whereas I was doing other things so that I did not have to live my life. Of course, a good leader is one who lives first and leads from that.

This is part of why I am thinking of moving away for a bit. The person I am here is not someone I can be anymore.