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Bad Dreams and Politics
It is only today that I thought maybe repeatedly waking up in the middle of the night with my heart pounding isn't a good thing.
Just over a year ago, I was distributing COPE pamphlets and doing a meet-the-candidates thing in the Kingsgate Mall with Jenn McGinn. A man asked me to buy him cigarettes, then a beer, and I declined. He asked me where I sleep. He said that he slept in a dumpster. He said he'd vote for us if I gave him $20. I refused, and he began going on about how all politicians are liars, cheats and crooks out for themselves. This is when I am volunteering to campaign for a Women's Studies grad who wants to implement ethical purchasing in an overworked/underpaid job as part of a slate that is out to increase social housing. I was angry, but didn't know what to say. Jenn said we should go.
Similar confrontation but with a guy in a suit and tie while I was out with Noel Herron. He felt that the widened bike lanes were cutting into his commute time.
Handing out pamphlets for the SFU elections, a lot of people going into and out of the Maggie Benson Center (where the pub, bookstore, copy shop, vegetarian snack bar and so on are located) ignore me, and a few get annoyed. Nevermind that the aforementioned services are all provided by the student union, and these services are in a lot of trouble what with the frozen bank accounts and all. I mentioned to Derrick that I don't think that most students deserve a student union.
"Deserve." What do we deserve? Or at least, what do I mean by it? The Dispossessed says "everything and nothing:" the universe has no obligation to give us anything, nor to hold anything back. But if I want something and refuse to do the minimum to keep it functioning, instead relying on others to do it for me, can I say that I deserve it? Or that I just happen to receive it by a pure coincidence that borders on parasitism? If I consciously make something happen, do I deserve the consequences? Unconsciously? What if I consciously, or unconsciously fail to act?
This spills over into a lot of things, and part of why I like intentional community on one scale or another.
I am tired of trying to save other peoples' asses. Of cleaning up other people's messes.
I don't mean that I object to lending a hand to the unfortunate, but politics sucks because it involves a few decent people competing against a few other decent people and a lot of assholes and sociopaths over the fate of a population that, in large part, would rather watch survivor than ensure its own survival.
I need to re-think politics, and how I approach and express the disjunct between what I see as common fucking sense, and how our society carries on.
One thing is clear - speaking up makes me not so much happy, as confident.
It is only today that I thought maybe repeatedly waking up in the middle of the night with my heart pounding isn't a good thing.
A dream:
The house was the perfect residence - four-storey stack, small lot. Space-age shiny; stairs and a loft inside. The kind of place that could be home to a butch of crazy alternative people such as yours truly. And the price was a steal.
I hung my, formerly/presently Erin's leather jacket on the fence while I fished for a camera or a pen.
A homeless man walking past tried to steal my jacket.
"You god-damn crack-head!" I screamed as I beat him about the head.
He turned to me and I saw that part of his face was pale white bone, all the way down to the eye socket.
I hung my, formerly/presently Erin's leather jacket on the fence while I fished for a camera or a pen.
A homeless man walking past tried to steal my jacket.
"You god-damn crack-head!" I screamed as I beat him about the head.
He turned to me and I saw that part of his face was pale white bone, all the way down to the eye socket.
Just over a year ago, I was distributing COPE pamphlets and doing a meet-the-candidates thing in the Kingsgate Mall with Jenn McGinn. A man asked me to buy him cigarettes, then a beer, and I declined. He asked me where I sleep. He said that he slept in a dumpster. He said he'd vote for us if I gave him $20. I refused, and he began going on about how all politicians are liars, cheats and crooks out for themselves. This is when I am volunteering to campaign for a Women's Studies grad who wants to implement ethical purchasing in an overworked/underpaid job as part of a slate that is out to increase social housing. I was angry, but didn't know what to say. Jenn said we should go.
Similar confrontation but with a guy in a suit and tie while I was out with Noel Herron. He felt that the widened bike lanes were cutting into his commute time.
Handing out pamphlets for the SFU elections, a lot of people going into and out of the Maggie Benson Center (where the pub, bookstore, copy shop, vegetarian snack bar and so on are located) ignore me, and a few get annoyed. Nevermind that the aforementioned services are all provided by the student union, and these services are in a lot of trouble what with the frozen bank accounts and all. I mentioned to Derrick that I don't think that most students deserve a student union.
"Deserve." What do we deserve? Or at least, what do I mean by it? The Dispossessed says "everything and nothing:" the universe has no obligation to give us anything, nor to hold anything back. But if I want something and refuse to do the minimum to keep it functioning, instead relying on others to do it for me, can I say that I deserve it? Or that I just happen to receive it by a pure coincidence that borders on parasitism? If I consciously make something happen, do I deserve the consequences? Unconsciously? What if I consciously, or unconsciously fail to act?
This spills over into a lot of things, and part of why I like intentional community on one scale or another.
I am tired of trying to save other peoples' asses. Of cleaning up other people's messes.
I don't mean that I object to lending a hand to the unfortunate, but politics sucks because it involves a few decent people competing against a few other decent people and a lot of assholes and sociopaths over the fate of a population that, in large part, would rather watch survivor than ensure its own survival.
I need to re-think politics, and how I approach and express the disjunct between what I see as common fucking sense, and how our society carries on.
One thing is clear - speaking up makes me not so much happy, as confident.