the_fantastic_ms_fox (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
the_fantastic_ms_fox) wrote2007-05-21 06:54 pm
the_fantastic_ms_fox) wrote2007-05-21 06:54 pm
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(no subject)
My ears = pierced.
More specifically, after taking the fine suggestions of several people, I went with Rowan to the Sacred Heart outlet on Nelson. There I saw Stephanie who took excellent care in picking out where exactly to poke me. She labeled first, I double-checked, and Rowan, who was wearing corrective lenses unlike yours truly, triple-checked. I think they look good, but if you want to see for yourself...
Very pleased.
This adds an appropriate connection to home that should be a nice thing to have with me, or in/though me, in Ottawa.
Now, this is a gendered rite of passage and reflects on what my Uncle spoke to me about when he drove to Vancouver to meet for dinner.
His big question was, "What about the loyal opposition? Do you have people that care about you, that love you, but who are also willing to caution you against doing something potentially foolish and/or tell me that I'm full of shit?"
I think so. You know who you are. But it's an important question for everyone, so I'm writing it down.
He filled this role well insofar as he tossed me a query that I've been rolling round in my head since - and it applies to so very many things.
"To me, the word 'passing' brings to mind Blacks in America. How important is this to you? How or when is your emotional integrety directly or indirectly dependent on either a mirror or the impression of others? Do you have to 'fool' people to get by?"
I... feel, that part of the issue is that I've seen some lives disrupted, shattered and/or ended by the shit that accompanies transition, and yet, outside of my mind/body psychic turmoil, and serious questions about how to integrate this into my dating life, I've been okay so far, but often due to circumstances that most people don't have, and which I have come to without planning or effort. So I find myself between I-hope-that-doesn't-happen-to-me and why-am-I-so-lucky-in-regards-to-this. A mix of fear and survivor guilt.
Passing comes into this. Not exactly sure how.
More specifically, after taking the fine suggestions of several people, I went with Rowan to the Sacred Heart outlet on Nelson. There I saw Stephanie who took excellent care in picking out where exactly to poke me. She labeled first, I double-checked, and Rowan, who was wearing corrective lenses unlike yours truly, triple-checked. I think they look good, but if you want to see for yourself...
Very pleased.
This adds an appropriate connection to home that should be a nice thing to have with me, or in/though me, in Ottawa.
Now, this is a gendered rite of passage and reflects on what my Uncle spoke to me about when he drove to Vancouver to meet for dinner.
His big question was, "What about the loyal opposition? Do you have people that care about you, that love you, but who are also willing to caution you against doing something potentially foolish and/or tell me that I'm full of shit?"
I think so. You know who you are. But it's an important question for everyone, so I'm writing it down.
He filled this role well insofar as he tossed me a query that I've been rolling round in my head since - and it applies to so very many things.
"To me, the word 'passing' brings to mind Blacks in America. How important is this to you? How or when is your emotional integrety directly or indirectly dependent on either a mirror or the impression of others? Do you have to 'fool' people to get by?"
I... feel, that part of the issue is that I've seen some lives disrupted, shattered and/or ended by the shit that accompanies transition, and yet, outside of my mind/body psychic turmoil, and serious questions about how to integrate this into my dating life, I've been okay so far, but often due to circumstances that most people don't have, and which I have come to without planning or effort. So I find myself between I-hope-that-doesn't-happen-to-me and why-am-I-so-lucky-in-regards-to-this. A mix of fear and survivor guilt.
Passing comes into this. Not exactly sure how.
no subject
2. Your uncle sounds pretty awesome
3. Passing vis gender identity - I think symbolic interactionalism (labelling theory) etc about how one re-affirms/obtains identity bits through social processes works here. I, personally, feel it's just NICE to be recognized for who one is without explanation. However, I've heard of some people for whom 'passing' is taken to extremes: moving to cities where they were not known as their assigned gender/transitioning - I'm also leery in these cases of revisionist history.
no subject
2. My uncle consistantly impresses me and is probably the only person after whom I consciously pattern myself without ever having cause to regret it. Did I mention that he also does scads of community work? I'm thinking of naming a child after him; likely one of mine, but possibly someone else's by way of some paperwork sleight of hand.
3. As far as being recognized goes - on the bus, April saw a female-bodied person with a pin that said "Boy." Se suggested an equivalent to me.
Although I've taken a few pokes at what drives it, I still don't understand revisionist history. It's also hard to find people who state that they've done it, as you might imagine.
The moving thing makes a certain amount of sense for people who have had nothing but rejection come out of their transition - since they no longer have any positive social ties, why not get outta town and into somewhere safe? It would be like if everyone you knew died - and then turned into flesh-hungry zombies.
On that note, My mom knows a ciswoman who saw one child severely brain injured in a car accident, the other kill himself, and a divorce after her husband's affair. She remarried, left the city and hasn't really contacted anyone. Gone.
And this reply started out so very cheery... :|
no subject
2. Awesome.
3. I guess different people have different relationships with their past. I get all Jungian about mine.
4. When are you going to Ottawa?