I understand a lot of what you've been saying about gender. Adding in the eating problems as well (I used to do a lot of the things in those pamphlets too, but I've been getting better)...it makes for something very familiar that I can't offer much help with - they're still issues I'm going through.

One of the main reasons I want to lose weight so desperately is that my body fat defines my shape, and who I am. My body fat is what makes it obvious to the world I'm physically a girl. I also get that feeling about the hormones - I don't want the emotional makeup, I don't want the cycles, any of it. It all feels like a monumental waste of time to me.