Reflections of an MtF butch
Jan. 30th, 2011 07:46 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
the_fantastic_ms_foxWhen I transitioned to female, I expected sexism like my female friends experienced. But, two years in, I was surprised and shaken, to find that people were listening to my opinion more, critiquing my appearance less, and showing greater confidence in my abilities. When I did manual labour, I might have to ask guys not to carry things for me, but, ironically, I was no longer accused of not pulling my weight. I could declare an opinion about technology and not have it shot down. And I could ask a question about technology and have it answered. (On a related note, I have since left non-profits and social sciences for management and metalwork). I rarely received unwanted sexual attention and, when I did, I could usually shut it down quickly. As a bonus I could even initiate sexual interactions without people looking at me goggle eyed, like I've just stepped out of a flying saucer.
This is weird. My demographically similar female friends got harassed and snubbed. And those who were transsexual, they also got threatened. What gives?
Before, onlookers perceived me a somewhat gender-odd short dude of ambiguous or no sexuality, a tenor voice, twenty-five years of age. Now they get a thirty-year-old contralto bull dyke of average height for her age and race. She limps less, speaks with a less Received-Pronunciation and more Western-Canadian dialect (trading class for familiarity), has a few more scars, and is more confident and mentally healthy. Other things have not changed: she still sometimes wore glasses (although she no longer does), has freckles, four limbs, twenty digits, pointed ears and still looks like s/he might be on the FtM spectrum, albeit in a different part of it.
I think I gained male privilege. Not all of it, but more than I had.
When one is perceived as male, being short, gender-variant, a tenor and non-hetero mean that you suck (i.e. "cock") at being a male. You are failing to be what you should. Society says "so man up already, faggot."
When one is perceived as female, being butch, contralto, probably into chicks, and scarred (from sharp and hot things, not cleaning supplies) make you mannish. "You're not a guy," says society "but you're trying."
Oh I could call it "complicated intersections of homophobia, transphobia, dialect bias and predjudices based on height," and that would not be inaccurate. But it would be misleading. Occam's Razor calls it "male privilege."
Consider: If someone going FtM gained these powers of being recognized as a full human being rather than a malfuncitoning machine for making baby boys, we'd say he "gained male privilege" (likely produced or informed by these other factors).
So if the same thing happens to me, why call it something else? Because I'm not a guy? That's like dividing "skirts" from "kilts," or "moobs" from "boobs." You don't relabel identical phenomena just because of the gender of the subject. That leads job titles like "male nurse" and "female doctor," or transgressions of dignity labelled as "female bullying" or "male-on-male rape," like these things were some bizarre exception to the natural order, unworthy of full scrutiny.
My life is not free of mysogyny. But when it happens, it's more obvious since my gender is no longer an obstacle to labeling it as exactly what it is.
What are the implications of this?
To be continued...
This habit of calling mysogyny regardless of the gender of the subject was inspired by Julia Serano, authour of Whipping Girl
This is weird. My demographically similar female friends got harassed and snubbed. And those who were transsexual, they also got threatened. What gives?
Before, onlookers perceived me a somewhat gender-odd short dude of ambiguous or no sexuality, a tenor voice, twenty-five years of age. Now they get a thirty-year-old contralto bull dyke of average height for her age and race. She limps less, speaks with a less Received-Pronunciation and more Western-Canadian dialect (trading class for familiarity), has a few more scars, and is more confident and mentally healthy. Other things have not changed: she still sometimes wore glasses (although she no longer does), has freckles, four limbs, twenty digits, pointed ears and still looks like s/he might be on the FtM spectrum, albeit in a different part of it.
I think I gained male privilege. Not all of it, but more than I had.
When one is perceived as male, being short, gender-variant, a tenor and non-hetero mean that you suck (i.e. "cock") at being a male. You are failing to be what you should. Society says "so man up already, faggot."
When one is perceived as female, being butch, contralto, probably into chicks, and scarred (from sharp and hot things, not cleaning supplies) make you mannish. "You're not a guy," says society "but you're trying."
Oh I could call it "complicated intersections of homophobia, transphobia, dialect bias and predjudices based on height," and that would not be inaccurate. But it would be misleading. Occam's Razor calls it "male privilege."
Consider: If someone going FtM gained these powers of being recognized as a full human being rather than a malfuncitoning machine for making baby boys, we'd say he "gained male privilege" (likely produced or informed by these other factors).
So if the same thing happens to me, why call it something else? Because I'm not a guy? That's like dividing "skirts" from "kilts," or "moobs" from "boobs." You don't relabel identical phenomena just because of the gender of the subject. That leads job titles like "male nurse" and "female doctor," or transgressions of dignity labelled as "female bullying" or "male-on-male rape," like these things were some bizarre exception to the natural order, unworthy of full scrutiny.
My life is not free of mysogyny. But when it happens, it's more obvious since my gender is no longer an obstacle to labeling it as exactly what it is.
What are the implications of this?
To be continued...
This habit of calling mysogyny regardless of the gender of the subject was inspired by Julia Serano, authour of Whipping Girl