Apple cheeks.

Another interesting side effects of wild hormonal shifts from the female to the male (adimttedly right after one huge stressor, and right before another) is a change in appetite. I have no idea where I am putting all this food, or how it is that I feel "full" but not "stuffed." None at all.

In totally unrelated news, my pants seem to be getting tighter.

At least the weight seems to be getting added to the right places. Getting chubby less skinny doesn't feel as threatening when, unlike before, it confirms that you are what you say you are.

(no subject)

Anxious about surgery.

Concentrate on the good parts, not the bad. Or at least remember the good parts.
In cognitive behavioural therapy, this is called "modifying self-talk"


What if something goes wrong while I'm out.
          I'm not getting heart surgery; they're not going to crack my ribcage.
          They're barely opening me up. This isn't actually that invasive.
          If screwups happened a lot, surgeons would be poor. They aren't.
         Would I rather be conscious and powerless? AKA "a passenger in a car."
                   Other than sleep, I've never been unconscious before. This could be interesting.
                   I fixed the CFS thing, so if I do die, the timing is good. Maybe we can claim I was assassinated?
                   I should try to remember everything so I can write it down later.

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Plane leaves tomorrow.