very few fit strictly into the "I'm a WOMAN! Therefore I must be and do, talk, walk, and dress all things that society defines as feminine in order to be accepted as such!" model - those are the screwed-up ones.
This doesn't just apply to MtFs. Anyone, of any class or gender or creed, who grabs a label and says, "I'm an XYZ - therefore I must be/do/talk/walk/dress exactly like an XYZ," isn't looking for an identity; they're looking for a cult. And it shows.
Women who are born and grow up without gender dysphoria tend (once they're through being teenagers) to approach such matters rather automatically: "I think I'll be like this; do such-and-such a thing; talk like so; walk thus; wear these clothes today. Well, yes, of course I'm a woman, why would you bother asking? Because women don't do things this way? Watch me." It's a descriptive attitude towards gender: "women" do whatever women, out in the world, do.
Teenagers and MtFs, however, have something to prove, and this tends to lead them into a prescriptive attitude: "Women do LMNOP; I need to prove I'm a woman now; therefore I must do LMNOP." The big trouble here for transfolk -- apart from the obvious fact that everyone expects this kind of attitude from teenagers, but very few transfolk actually transition that young -- is that no other group spends a whole lifetime questioning their gender. It feels normal. Doing whatever the other boys do because otherwise everyone will realize you're a girl? I bet there are a lot of cisgirls who've tried it for a week, but keeping it up for twelve years is kind of a trans-unique experience. By the time transition happens, doing whatever the other women do isn't a pure expression of adolescent angst, but a lifelong habit which needs conscious breaking.
no subject
This doesn't just apply to MtFs. Anyone, of any class or gender or creed, who grabs a label and says, "I'm an XYZ - therefore I must be/do/talk/walk/dress exactly like an XYZ," isn't looking for an identity; they're looking for a cult. And it shows.
Women who are born and grow up without gender dysphoria tend (once they're through being teenagers) to approach such matters rather automatically: "I think I'll be like this; do such-and-such a thing; talk like so; walk thus; wear these clothes today. Well, yes, of course I'm a woman, why would you bother asking? Because women don't do things this way? Watch me." It's a descriptive attitude towards gender: "women" do whatever women, out in the world, do.
Teenagers and MtFs, however, have something to prove, and this tends to lead them into a prescriptive attitude: "Women do LMNOP; I need to prove I'm a woman now; therefore I must do LMNOP." The big trouble here for transfolk -- apart from the obvious fact that everyone expects this kind of attitude from teenagers, but very few transfolk actually transition that young -- is that no other group spends a whole lifetime questioning their gender. It feels normal. Doing whatever the other boys do because otherwise everyone will realize you're a girl? I bet there are a lot of cisgirls who've tried it for a week, but keeping it up for twelve years is kind of a trans-unique experience. By the time transition happens, doing whatever the other women do isn't a pure expression of adolescent angst, but a lifelong habit which needs conscious breaking.