the_fantastic_ms_fox (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
the_fantastic_ms_fox) wrote2008-01-18 12:18 am
the_fantastic_ms_fox) wrote2008-01-18 12:18 am
Entry tags:
1. Progesterone. 2 Others' reactions
Progesterone notes based from a combination of cycling hormones over the month and occasionally screwing up the dating of the dosages.
P'>0 (Progesterone is increasing)
Occurs at post-menstruation mildly; at post-ovulation strongly
Effects:
- reduced appetite; heavy foods like meat trigger a mild disgust reaction
- horny (especially when I muck up the timing and it goes up a lot faster than usual)
- cuddly
- emotional swings
- higher confidence
P'<0 (Progesterone is decreasing)
Occurs at pre-ovulation mildly; at pre-menstruation strongly (also know as PMS)
Effects
- increased appetite for heavy foods, including meat;
- feeling fat/heavy/earthy (not necessarily bad; it can mean "my body feels all curvy" - cool)
- lower confidence
While it's hard to suss out the effect of the level of progesterone (since the flux makes enough of a difference), I can say that high progesterone makes for vivid dreams (especially useful for lucid dreaming)
--------------
Other notes: how people are reacting to me
Man at booth as I go to shake his hand: "I'm Muslim: we don't touch the opposite sex. Sorry."
Guy at queer-gender issues discussion group: "Oh, that makes more sense. I thought you were going the other way and was like woah, he's not trying very hard."
- Speaking of which, said group is working out really well. All are welcome.
Getting a vibe for social reactions takes a bit of faith and intuition. The signs are fuzzy. It's hard to guess whether two or three examples of behaviour "x" this month are really a departure from one "x" last month and another the month before that, or just an intersection of random coincidence and greater awareness. But it feels like there are changes, I notice some reactions more often and others less, and so, I guess, there are.
Reactions on the bus:
After getting my short haicut and switching from my raincoat to a warmer leather pilot's jacket, I'm getting called "he" a lot more, which sucks, but when I do give my name, it doesn't cause any raised eyebrows, which is awesome - and an improvment over "no, not 'Emir,' 'Amy:' A... M... Y."
I am noticing a different reaction from women in patterns that suggest that it squares with them being socialized in a Western Anglophone culture with exposure to images of queers. Specifically, I'd guess that around 30% of said women seem alarmed by me in ways that are sharply new from being read as male (on the bus: leaning away, shoulders tilted, tracking my movements, looking away). A few other women (especially around Main Street, The Drive and other queer-ish areas) are projecting a kind of coy attention my way (quick eye-contact, a smile, head-drop, compliments). Many female bus drivers (it seems that most female bus drivers in this city are gender-variant - I can imagine how that would work well on the job) smile, nod and, in some cases, make brief conversation. Men give me a decent amount of space and rarely initiate any conversation.
Off the bus, wher ethere is free movement these are less pronounced. The body-language dynamic between myself and most women in washrooms is I'll just slide in past you and use that stall - I'll ignore you, and you ignore me.
This is nice to be taken as one of the variety of female genders, and one that's at least close to where I am in my head, but it's alarming to me too. I change my hair and outherwear and suddenly bang, new sub-gender! From here, I see implications as far as the assocation between a masculine-ish presentation and being assumed to be more sexual(ly aggressive towards feminine people). - hence the alarm there, flirting here; the chummy-safe nod there; the ignoring as non-relevant here. This disquiet me. I can see how it carries over into other things that we associate with masculinity and femininity, namely height and ethnicity.
I mentioned the tie to socialization. My guess from reactions thus far is that people who were raised in places without these image-signals seem to either just assume I'm a (cisgendered) guy or chalk it up to Northamerican peculiarities.
Example: woman from Paris to an aquaintance of mine, highly paraphrased: "I went downtown and I thought wow, Vancouver is full of lesbians. Then I realized that it was just that most women here dress like what we'd call 'slobs.'"
P'>0 (Progesterone is increasing)
Occurs at post-menstruation mildly; at post-ovulation strongly
Effects:
- reduced appetite; heavy foods like meat trigger a mild disgust reaction
- horny (especially when I muck up the timing and it goes up a lot faster than usual)
- cuddly
- emotional swings
- higher confidence
P'<0 (Progesterone is decreasing)
Occurs at pre-ovulation mildly; at pre-menstruation strongly (also know as PMS)
Effects
- increased appetite for heavy foods, including meat;
- feeling fat/heavy/earthy (not necessarily bad; it can mean "my body feels all curvy" - cool)
- lower confidence
While it's hard to suss out the effect of the level of progesterone (since the flux makes enough of a difference), I can say that high progesterone makes for vivid dreams (especially useful for lucid dreaming)
--------------
Other notes: how people are reacting to me
Man at booth as I go to shake his hand: "I'm Muslim: we don't touch the opposite sex. Sorry."
Guy at queer-gender issues discussion group: "Oh, that makes more sense. I thought you were going the other way and was like woah, he's not trying very hard."
- Speaking of which, said group is working out really well. All are welcome.
Getting a vibe for social reactions takes a bit of faith and intuition. The signs are fuzzy. It's hard to guess whether two or three examples of behaviour "x" this month are really a departure from one "x" last month and another the month before that, or just an intersection of random coincidence and greater awareness. But it feels like there are changes, I notice some reactions more often and others less, and so, I guess, there are.
Reactions on the bus:
After getting my short haicut and switching from my raincoat to a warmer leather pilot's jacket, I'm getting called "he" a lot more, which sucks, but when I do give my name, it doesn't cause any raised eyebrows, which is awesome - and an improvment over "no, not 'Emir,' 'Amy:' A... M... Y."
I am noticing a different reaction from women in patterns that suggest that it squares with them being socialized in a Western Anglophone culture with exposure to images of queers. Specifically, I'd guess that around 30% of said women seem alarmed by me in ways that are sharply new from being read as male (on the bus: leaning away, shoulders tilted, tracking my movements, looking away). A few other women (especially around Main Street, The Drive and other queer-ish areas) are projecting a kind of coy attention my way (quick eye-contact, a smile, head-drop, compliments). Many female bus drivers (it seems that most female bus drivers in this city are gender-variant - I can imagine how that would work well on the job) smile, nod and, in some cases, make brief conversation. Men give me a decent amount of space and rarely initiate any conversation.
Off the bus, wher ethere is free movement these are less pronounced. The body-language dynamic between myself and most women in washrooms is I'll just slide in past you and use that stall - I'll ignore you, and you ignore me.
This is nice to be taken as one of the variety of female genders, and one that's at least close to where I am in my head, but it's alarming to me too. I change my hair and outherwear and suddenly bang, new sub-gender! From here, I see implications as far as the assocation between a masculine-ish presentation and being assumed to be more sexual(ly aggressive towards feminine people). - hence the alarm there, flirting here; the chummy-safe nod there; the ignoring as non-relevant here. This disquiet me. I can see how it carries over into other things that we associate with masculinity and femininity, namely height and ethnicity.
I mentioned the tie to socialization. My guess from reactions thus far is that people who were raised in places without these image-signals seem to either just assume I'm a (cisgendered) guy or chalk it up to Northamerican peculiarities.
Example: woman from Paris to an aquaintance of mine, highly paraphrased: "I went downtown and I thought wow, Vancouver is full of lesbians. Then I realized that it was just that most women here dress like what we'd call 'slobs.'"