It was sparked by a reading that claimed that smaller space-boundaries regarding women were a form of oppression. Smaller/weaker boundaries are definitely bad in the case of the assumption of sexual access resulting in rape, but I also find that now, when people stand closer to me, and women would touch me on the shoulder, to be a welcome alternative to "you're a potential physical/sexual threat so I will keep my distance." The reading claimed that /this too/, was a symptom of oppression, and I find that this logic is not confined to readings carries over a lot into how some people talk about sexism, even in a non-academic discourse.
I find assumptions about personal boundaries to be context and consent dependent: I'm OK with squishing on a skytrain, as long as no one puts their hand in my asscrack and deliberately rubs (which happens about twice a year to me.) I'm okay with social touching that is semi-consensual and when people read non-verbal cues or verbal cues and stop it. You probably haven't experienced a lot of invasive social touching at this point, but it's gotten to the point that I, personally, in certain social contexts where the alternative is being perceived as sexual non-consensual prey, enjoy being treated like a predator instead. Different side of the same coin, I'm guessing.
Yeah, there is sexism towards men and their bodies, etc, but you gotta realize that a lot of female 'privilege' often comes at an accompanying social price: Most women I know who feel empowered with boundaries such as social touching or presenting a sexualized image (as in, not necessarily under threat of sexual assault) have some strategies going on for when and how and why they do these things, and what they do when these things go wrong.
In an idea world, men could hug and snuggle and stand close to people (of all genders), and they would also have the social awareness that sometimes you back the fuck off and don't. If this statement bugs you with it's sexism, consider that I would gladly replace the word 'men' with 'people' in describing my ideal world.
In an ideal world, men would also feel permission to flaunt their bodies when and how they would like to - and women wouldn't feel that the only way to get acknowledged as sexual being would be to show their bodies in a very narrow and specific fashion at certain times, knowing that in doing so they may attract unwanted attention.
I'm big into the idea of aiming for sex/gender equality, where one's ability and safety in physical and sexual expression, and one's boundaries around it are more or less universal and applied and shared by all.
no subject
I find assumptions about personal boundaries to be context and consent dependent: I'm OK with squishing on a skytrain, as long as no one puts their hand in my asscrack and deliberately rubs (which happens about twice a year to me.)
I'm okay with social touching that is semi-consensual and when people read non-verbal cues or verbal cues and stop it. You probably haven't experienced a lot of invasive social touching at this point, but it's gotten to the point that I, personally, in certain social contexts where the alternative is being perceived as sexual non-consensual prey, enjoy being treated like a predator instead. Different side of the same coin, I'm guessing.
Yeah, there is sexism towards men and their bodies, etc, but you gotta realize that a lot of female 'privilege' often comes at an accompanying social price: Most women I know who feel empowered with boundaries such as social touching or presenting a sexualized image (as in, not necessarily under threat of sexual assault) have some strategies going on for when and how and why they do these things, and what they do when these things go wrong.
In an idea world, men could hug and snuggle and stand close to people (of all genders), and they would also have the social awareness that sometimes you back the fuck off and don't. If this statement bugs you with it's sexism, consider that I would gladly replace the word 'men' with 'people' in describing my ideal world.
In an ideal world, men would also feel permission to flaunt their bodies when and how they would like to - and women wouldn't feel that the only way to get acknowledged as sexual being would be to show their bodies in a very narrow and specific fashion at certain times, knowing that in doing so they may attract unwanted attention.
I'm big into the idea of aiming for sex/gender equality, where one's ability and safety in physical and sexual expression, and one's boundaries around it are more or less universal and applied and shared by all.