1. Come to the housewarming/renaming/meet-my-cousin party in about a month
2. Send me a note containing, one thing that you hope that I can:
(a) shed from my old identity, way of living and/or interaction with you
(b) keep from my old identity and way of living and/or interaction with you
(c) avoid in my new identity and way of living and/or interaction with you
(d) find my new identity and way of living and/or interaction with you
You can do one, two, there, all four. You can pick more than one item from one category and/or skip another. You can be glib, frank, solemn or brusque. You can send it by email, by post, hand it to me, drop it off, use one of the King's messengers, or carve it in a bathroom stall. Or you can not send a note at all, but just acknowledge it whatever way you see fit and for which you have time. Do whatever suits you.
1. I'm going to sound funny
Female hormones do not affect one's voice, so it takes lots and lots of practice to change. I will also have to cut in and out, and it's hard to maintain. I don't know how it will sound in the end.
In any case, it's a validating feeling to not wonder why this male voice that seems to come out of my mouth when I talk.
2. I am having a renaming ritual from Friday thru Sunday on the August long weekend.
As a ritual where I enter an ecstatic state, it will double as a project for Archeaology. It will also be a general adulthood initiation ritual as I've found for the first time that I feel like I have my adult shit together (being in the right sex helps).
1 - divesting myself of my transitional name of "Sasha"
2 - a trial in the form of harsh interrogation
3 - symbolic death, divesting myself of the name "Graham"
4 - a day of not interacting with anyone
5 - symbolic rebirth and renaming
First off, should you see me on Saturday the 4th, I ask you not to interact with me in any way. I'm a ghost, right?
If you want to participate, comment or email me. I should warn you though that the portions requiring participation are going to be intense, and if you are squicked by the sorts of behaviour found in some intense religious ritual or kink, then you'll be squicked by this too.
3. I am having a Rites of Passage Party on the 24th, 25th or 26th of August.
It will be a community event. If you've had a major change in your life, whether it's your maritial status, your graduation, quitting school, changing your name and/or gender, stopping an old habit or whatever, this will be the time and place to announce or re-announce it and have at least part of your community affirm it. If enough people are interested, I may need a sizable space.
I'm still posting transgender stuff on my journal, but there'll be another shift in character.
1 - I began in August and September with "holy shit, I think I'm trans - is this right?"
2 - This segued into "Okay.... What does this feel like? How do I deal with it?"
3 - Then came navigating the medical system and starting to fiddle with my appearance.
At present, this involves looking at long-term health issues, nutrition, and surgical options. I'm also getting carry papers (documents stating "yes this person is female") and doing a legal name change.
4 - Following this came the hormones and their effect on me. I'm a little disappointed to know that I'm on or very near to a full dose, and there won't be any other sudden changes in my biochemical-cognitive interaction.
My dreams continue to be shockingly vivid (progesterone). Even when waking, I can no longer ignore my subconscious, and even overlooking it is a feat. I have more energy and am happier - I think this is what it feels like when you're starting to be not depressed instead of fighting depression. It's been more than half my life since I could say that. Trans ain't the only reason for this, but it goes a long way.
5 - Now I'm into a stage of presenting, with or without effort, as decidedly female and noting how this feels - what the reactions are, how I feel about those, and how feeling and perception interect. This is where the sociologist is happy and the shy girl is intimidated.
More to come, of course.
On a side not, I'm thinking of a remaning party in late August that could also serve as a community right-of-passage party.
Done something notable in the last year? Graduated? Changed something important? Want to announce something? Have a request for the community? Comment and we can maybe it can be worked in.
The COPE policy meeting, while less masochistic, also brought me a sense of satisfaction. It was a little awkward to both introduce myself as Sasha and bring up the issue of transgender/intersex/parent-child/
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